Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Why don't I get sleep at nights?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

I had run out of hope.

Why cant I add weight to my lifts even though im completing my sets? Every time I try to add more weight I cant even complete one rep.

The sadness was still there.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Why are white women not interested in dating Asian men? Are they not attractive to you at all?

You are like me, then.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

It’s still here.

Is it possible for people who claim to be genuine and honest to actually not be? If so, why do they behave this way?

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

23 People Who Woke Up One Morning Over The Past Week And Kinda Sort-Of Accidentally Ruined Their Entire Year - BuzzFeed

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Has anyone experienced an out of the body experience, as a child, years before you had ever heard the term or understood the implications?

And the sadness?

I was tired of trying and failing.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

What do you think will be the biggest factor in determining whether Daniel Penny was justified in believing that Jordan Neely had posed a deadly threat in the manslaughter trial?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Be who you already are.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

What explanations do flat earthers have for the shape of our planet? If they do not have any, why should their opinions on this topic be considered credible?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

I was tired of fighting.

Can I fix a fridge leak myself, or should I call a pro?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.